From Guilt to Gratitude: We Are Built for Joy
In the mindful woman, Sue Patton Thoele talks about how our brain is “like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive.” For me, knowing a little about how our brain works really helps me reframe things and see them in a new light. (Or in the light of love—something Michiko often said when helping me shift to a spiritual perspective.)
Yesterday, I forgot this simple fact.
It was Isabelle’s 13th birthday party, and we hosted a Seaside High Tea for her and her friends. It was a lot of prep, and we were running a bit late. I breathed a big sigh of relief when everything was mostly set up and ready to go at 2 p.m.
Party time.
Then my phone started ringing and pinging.
The address was correct on the evite, but when guests clicked the map icon, it was taking them to the wrong beach. I spent a lot of time directing guests to the correct beach and felt really upset about the mistake—and responsible for the mix-up. There were even a couple of guests who didn’t end up making it to the party because of the location confusion.
I had a hard time shaking it off, and even today, I still felt disappointed.
And then I remembered the above-mentioned chapter from the mindful woman.
Aha.
I was letting this one aspect of the day overshadow all of the beauty and joy that were also present.
So much had gone right.
So much fun was had.
Friends and family were together.
Isabelle had a magical day.
And I was fixated on the one part of the day that had gone wrong.
Wow! Negativity can really be a thief if we allow ourselves to wallow in it.
Luckily, we can retrain our brains to focus more on positive experiences through practices such as gratitude. And luckily, my practices had primed my brain to break through the haze of disappointment. I was able to shine a light in a dark place and really appreciate what a beautiful day it ultimately was.
One teaching from Michiko that I come back to is a comment she made during one of our sessions. She said, “We are not built for guilt. We are built for joy.”
The more we learn to recognize and appreciate all of the good in our lives, the more naturally we will begin to focus on it.
What a bright blessing!
I am choosing to let the mix-up go and focus instead on gratitude and appreciation for a day well spent with family and friends celebrating my teenager.
And I am sure there will be lots more to write about as we begin that journey.
My seatbelt is on. :)
Keep exploring.
If something here resonated with you, there’s more to explore. Read more reflections on mindfulness, motherhood, self-love, and finding more peace and joy in the everyday on the zen momma blog.
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