You Don't Have to Believe Every Thought You Think

“It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.” — Louise Hay

This morning I was reflecting on my tendency to slip back into the habit of taking my thoughts too seriously.

You know that feeling when a thought pops up (it’s mostly the negative ones that I find myself really entertaining in a fantastical sort of way), and the thought becomes a story, and the story begins to get characters, and then I imagine the characters’ personas and what they are most definitely thinking about me, etc.

One thought has now become an entire production. (And if we are going to design a production, why not make it a good one?!? This is a post for another day.)

Sort of like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, except this is all occurring in my head as I drive my daughter to school. Yikes!

One of the greatest lessons I have learned through my years of coaching with Michiko is how to catch myself when I have wandered away from the present moment and into one of these stories. To notice where I am putting my attention, question the thoughts I am taking so seriously, and intentionally bring myself back to what is actually happening right here, right now.

And this morning, I caught myself.

As I became aware of what was happening, I was grateful that another thought broke through the drama and woke me up:

“It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”

Aha! Thank you, Louise Hay!

It was that anchor that helped me stop my runaway thoughts then and there and shift back into the present moment. And then another wisdom gem came to mind from Byron Katie:

“Who would I be without that thought?”

Hhhhmmm.

I would be present. Peaceful. And more empowered to put my attention on what I actually want.

And this morning, what I actually wanted was very simple: to be present with my daughter and connect with her on the way to school.

There it was.

Thought → awareness → choice → back to the moment.

I find that many of us (me included) put so much of our attention on what we don’t want. We replay the conversation we wish had gone differently. We imagine what someone else might be thinking. We anticipate the thing that could go wrong. And before we know it, we are living inside a story that isn't actually happening.

Meanwhile, the moment that is happening is passing us by.

I have very intentionally been practicing keeping my attention on what it is I DO want, and the shift in my mood, my energy, my presence, my peace, and my joy has been remarkable.

Not only do I feel better, but I notice that my day flows along in a more aligned and enjoyable manner.

This doesn't mean I never have negative thoughts. Of course I do.

The practice is noticing when I've started following one down the rabbit hole—and remembering that I don't have to go with it.

Wrong turn. I can stop right then and there, reset and turn that car around!

So I invite you, too, to practice catching yourself when you notice that your thoughts have brought you down the rabbit hole.

As I wrap this reflection up, another lesson from my coaching with Michiko comes to mind.

We hopped on one of our calls, and I shared something along the lines of, “I have been having all of these thoughts…”

And she simply responded with something along the lines of:

“So what?”

Aha!

Why was I taking my thoughts so seriously?

This is the practice.

Not trying to control every thought that enters our minds, but learning that we don't have to believe, entertain, or follow every single one.

Sometimes a thought is just a thought and a thought can be changed.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from The Worrier and The Warrior by Michiko J. Rolek and Grace Rolek:

“So kind of like choosing a cupcake? I can choose what makes me feel good.”